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Dean Winchester Quotes
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1X1 Pilot
Sam: Dean, this is my girlfriend Jessica.
Jessica: Wait, your brother Dean?
Dean: I love the smurfs. You know I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league.
Jessica: Just let me put something on.
Dean: Oh no. No no no. I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously.
1x19 Provenance
Sam:
Burning the painting didn't get rid of it.
Dean: Yeah, thank you Captain Obvious!
1X10 Asylum
Dean:
(talking about his dad) You know I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda!
3x06 Red Sky at Morning
Bela
: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.
3x06 Red Sky at Morning
Bela
: So, how'd things go last night with Peter?
(Sam gives angry look)
Bela: That well, huh.
Dean: If you say "I told you so," I swear to God, I'll start swinging.
3x06 Red Sky at Morning
Dean: (about Bela) You know what? Your right. I’m not going to kill her. I think slow torture’s the way to go.
3x06 Red Sky at Morning
Dean
: (to Sam) You stink like sex.
3x06 Red Sky at Morning
(about Bela)
Dean: Can I shoot her?
Sam: Not in public.
3x05 Bedtime Stories
Sam:
I think it's Snow White
Dean: Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Oh, the porn version anyway.
1x07 Hookman
(to Sammy about his girly coffee choice)

Dean: Your half-caf, double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis.
2x20 What Is and What Should Never Be
(Sam has just told Dean they don't get along)

Dean: We don't? Well, we should. You're my brother.
Sam: You're my brother?
Dean: Yeah!
Sam: You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nayv.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Uh, my prom date. On prom night.
Dean: *under his breath* Yeah, that does kinda sound like me.
2x20 What Is and What Should Never Be
Sam: I want to help you, I really, really do. But you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown. So...
Dean: I wish.
(Sam pulls out his phone, but Dean throws it out the window)
Sam: What the hell was that, Dean? That was my phone!
2x09 Croatoan
Sam:
This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Dean: I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?
2x19 Folsom Prison Blues
Henricksen:
You think you're funny?
Dean: I think I'm adorable.
2x11 Playthings
Dean:
Ya know she could be faking.
Sam:Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
(Convincing look on Dean's face)
Sam: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick!
3x07 Fresh Blood
Dean : What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with "Shut up, Sam"?
3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas
Dean : You fudging touch me again, I'll fudging kill you!
1x11 Scarecrow
(to the townspeople who are about to sacrifice him for their farms)

Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
2x11 Playthings
Dean: We might even run into Fred and Daphnie inside. Mmmm... Daphnie. I love her.
2x10 Hunted
Dean:
Come on man. I know Sam, OK? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean the guy feels guilty searching the Internet for porn.
1x12 Faith
Dean: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.
2x08 Crossroads Blues
Dean: We know a little about a lot of things; just enough to make us dangerous.
2x12 Nightshifter
Dean:
Damn cops.
Sam: They were just doing their job.
Dean:
No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it.
2x12 Nightshifter
Dean:
I like him. He says okie dokie.
1x14 Nightmare
Dean: As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.
1x03 Dead in the Water
Sam: Kids are the best?
Dean: Yeah, I love kids.
Sam: Name three children that you even know.
(Dean scratches head for while; Sam starts to walk away)

Dean: I'm thinking!
1x06 Skin
(about the shapeshifter)
Dean:
Ugh, the thought of him driving my car.
Sam: Oh, c'mon.
Dean: It's killing me!
1x12 Faith
Dean: Man, you're a lying bastard! I thought you said we were going to see a doctor.
Sam: I believe I said specialist. Look, Dean, this guy is supposed to be the real deal.
Dean: I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent!
1x12 Faith
Dean: You better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass.
Sam: I don't think that's funny.
Dean: Oh come on, it's a little funny.
2x13 Houses of the Holy
Sam: Dean, there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted.
Dean: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
Sam: (looking heartbroken) Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?
Dean: (looks concerned for a moment, then catches on) Cute.
2x11 Playthings
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay?
2x09 Croatoan
(an infected townsperson tells Dean to get out of his car)
Dean:Heh. Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way. Sorry.
2x08 Crossroad Blues
Dean: The secretary's name is Carly. She's 23, she kayaks, and they're real.
Sam: You didn't happen to ask her if she's seen any black dogs lately, did you?
(Dean hands over a list)
Dean: Every complaint called in this week about anything big, black or doglike. There's 19 calls in all. And, uh, I don't know what this is.
(hands Sam a post-it note; Sam laughs)
Sam: You mean Carly's MySpace address?
Dean: Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that?
(Sam laughs again, a little incredulous)
Dean: Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?

3x02 The Kids Are Alright Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick? Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life!
3x03 Bad Day at Black Rock
Dean: (reading from trophy) 1995.
Sam: No way. That's my Division Championship soccer trophy. I can't believe he kept this.
Dean: Probably the closest you ever got to being a boy.
3x05 Sin City
Dean: (about the Colt) So if we wanna go check out these omens in Ohio, think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?
Bobby: Well, it won’t kill demons by then, but I can promise it’ll kill you.
3x05 Bedtime Stories
Sam: I've got a theory. Sort of.
Dean: Hit me.
Sam: Well, thinking about fairy tales.
Dean: Oh, that’s... that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?
3x05 Bedtime Stories
Sam: (staring at frog on the road) Yeah, you’re right, that's completely normal.
Dean: All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there’s no way I'm kissing a damned frog.
3x05 Bedtime Stories
Sam: (gesturing to pumpkin on porch) Hey, check that out.
Dean: Yeah? It's close to Halloween.
Sam: You remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses?
Dean: Dude! Could you be more gay? Don't answer that.
3x05 Bedtime Stories
Dean: You find a way to stop Callie, all right.
Sam: What about you?
Dean: I'm gonna go stop the big bad wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said.
3x06 Red Sky At Morning
Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.
3x06 Red Sky At Morning
Bela: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Dean: (after thinking hard) Don't objectify me.

3x07 Fresh Blood
Dixon: Can you think of a worse hell?
Dean: Well, there's Hell.
3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas
Sam: Huh, when you sacrifice to Holnacar, guess what he gives you in return?
Dean: Lap dances, hopefully.
3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas
Dean: She gave them to you for free? Do you sell them for free?
Shopkeeper: No way. It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for them.
Dean: That's the spirit.
3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Dean: You saved my life.
Ruby: Don't mention it.
Dean: What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass.
Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. (she leaves)
Dean: (mutters) You're the short bus, short bus...
3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Dean: (to Ruby) You wanna kill me, get in the line b*tch!
3x10 Dream a Little Dream of Me
Dean:
Dude, you were making some serious happy noises. Who are you dreaming about? Angelina Jolie?
Sam: No...
Dean: Brad Pitt?
Sam: No. No!
3x11 Mystery Spot
Dean being mimicked by Sam: You think your being funny but your being really really childish... Sam Winchester wears make-up... Sam Winchester cries his way through sex... Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by his bed and every morning when he wakes up he... OK ENOUGH!!
3x12 Jus in Bello
Dean:
It's like we got a contract on us. You think it's 'cause we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause it's we're so awesome.
3x12 Jus in Bello
Henricksen: I shot the Sheriff.
Dean:
(stares at the dead cop for a while) But you didn't shoot the deputy.
3x12 Jus in Bello
Sam: You were possessed.
Henricksen: Possessed like... possessed?
Sam: That's what it feels like. Now you know
Dean: I owe you the biggest "I told you so" ever.
3x12 Jus in Bello
Henricksen: I mean, after all, seeing you two in chains...
Dean: You kinky son of a b*tch, we don't swing that way.
3x12 Jus in Bello
Dean: Honestly, I think the world's going to end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight. We do have choices. I choose to go down swingin'.
3x12 Jus in Bello
Henricksen: You know what my job is?
Dean: You mean, besides locking up the good guys?
3x09 Malleus Maleficarum
Dean:
I hate witches! Spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It is insane! No, downright unsanitary!
1x22 Devil's Trap
Meg:
He begged for his life with tears in his eyes. He begged to see his sons one last time. That's when I slit his throat!
Dean: For your sake, I hope your lying. 'Cause if it's true I swear to God I will march into hell myself, and I will slaughter each and every one of you evil sons of b*tches, so help me God!
1x22 Devil's Trap
Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nicely.
Dean: Where's our father, b*tch!
Meg: Do you kiss you mother with that mouth? Oh, I forget... You don't!
3x02 The Kids are Alright
Dean (to Sam): Gumby girl.... Does that make me Pokey?
3x11 Mystery Spot
Dean (on getting hit by the car): Did it look cool, like in the movies?
Sam: You peed yourself.
Dean: Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!

Hammer Of The Gods
(Gabriel snaps the boys back to the Hotel room)
Dean: Ok-Wha-did-that...? Holy Crap!
Sam: Yeah tell me about it.
Sam: By the way...next time I say "Let's keep driving" Ughhh-Let's keep driving!
Dean: Okay, yeah Next time!
2x20 What is and What Should Never Be
College Professor: Son have you been drinking?
Dean: Everybody keeps asking me that, but... no.



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