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Tall Tales Quotes
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Sam: (yelling) Your dirty socks in the sink! Your food in the fridge!
Dean: What's wrong with my food?
Sam: It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism!
Dean: I like it..
Trickster: Mr. Morality here, he brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat.
Curtis: They did tests on me then uh... (drinks shot) They probed me.
Dean: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah, they probed me... again and again and again and... (drinks shot again) ...and again and again and again and then one more time.
Dean: Yikes.
Curtis: That's not even the worst of it.
Dean: How can it get and worse, I mean, some alien made you his *****?
(long pause)
Curtis: They... they made me slow dance...
Dean: You wanna try one of those Purple Nurples!
Sam: Look, Dean, um, I just wanna say, that I'm, um...
: Hey... me too.
: You guys are breaking my heart. Can we please just leave?!
Sam: How would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?
: It's be the last thing you ever did.
Sam: Dude... were you on my computer?
: Uh... no...
: Oh really? Cuz it's frozen now, on bustyasianbeauties.com?
Sam: You know something? I've put up with a lot from you!
: What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around!
Dean: These punishments, they’re almost poetic. Well, actually they’d be more like a limerick, but still…
Dean: Look man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style, you know. I mean, I do. I mean… phew! And the slow dancing alien...
: One of my personal favorites.
Sam: Dean. This is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah!
Sam: Dude you mind not eating those on my bed?
: No, I don't mind.
Sam: There was this guy. He was a research scientist. Animal testing.
Dean: Ya, you know, a dick. Which fits the pattern.
Jen: So now she haunts the building, and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale.
Curtis: Well, if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?
Bobby: If you two had bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear.
Dean: What?
Bobby: What you’re dealing with.
Dean: I got nothing.
Sam: Me neither.
Bobby: You got a trickster on your hands.
Dean: That’s what I thought!
Sam: No, you didn't!!
Janitor: Sorry I’m dragging a little ass today, boys. Had quite the night last night. Lots of sex, if you catch my drift.
Dean: Yeah, hard not to.
(Dean continues on telling his version of the story)
Sam: So you and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house?
Frat Guy: Yeah.
Dean: You heard of what happened to him right?
Frat Guy: Yeah, he said it was aliens... but you know, whatever.
Sam: Look man, I know this all has to be so hard...
Frat Guy: Not so much.
Sam: But I want you to know... I'm here for you. (pause) You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. (hugs him) Too precious for this world.
(cuts back to actual time)
Sam: I never said that!
Dean: You're always saying pansy stuff like that.
Starla: My God, you are attractive!
Dean: Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please? Lives are at stake.
Starla: Sorry, I can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun.
Bobby: You're bickering like an old married couple.
Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins.
Sam: It's conjoined twins.
Dean: See what I mean?
Sam: Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby, maybe he's run into something like this before.
Dean: Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator in the sewer gig. Yeah, simple.
Sam: I'm telling you, Dean, this is made by some kind of jet engine.
Dean: Oh... what do you mean? Like some saucer-shaped jet engine?
Sam: Well, what else can it be?
Dean: What the hell?!
Sam: I don't know.
Dean: Well seriously dude, what the hell?!
Sam: (yells) I don't know!! I mean first The Haunting, now this? The timing alone. There's gotta be some sort of connection here.
Dean: What? You mean between the angry spirit and uh... the sexed up ET? What could the connection possibly be?
Dean: Woah, woah, woah, woah... hold on a minute!!
Sam: What?
Dean: C'mon dude, that's not how it happened!
Sam: No? So you never drank a purple nurple?
Dean: Yeah maybe that, but I don't say things like "fiesty little wildcat" and her name wasn't Starla.
Sam: Then what was it?
Dean: (pauses) I don't know... but she was a classy chick. She was a grad student. Anthropology and folklore. We were talking about ghost stories

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