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Sam sat at the small table, drinking his fifth cup of coffee. It was almost dawn but he hadn’t put any lights on yet. He’d been trying for ages to work out what to say to Dean, but he’d come to the conclusion there weren’t any words that would make any difference, so he was just fortifying himself with caffeine before the explosion came.

The door opened and closed quietly about half an hour later, and the light was switched on.
‘Man, you gave me a shock, sitting there in the dark! I didn’t think you were here because the car’s not out front…’ Dean rattled on, in high spirits. ‘Wow, what a night! I could’ve fixed you up with her friend, Bro – she was definitely interested! Why didn’t you pick me up anyway? – Doesn’t matter, she gave me a lift back…’ his voice trailed off
'Dude, where is she?’ he asked, his voice harsh, with a note of panic in it.
Sam braced himself. ‘She’s gone, Dean; I’m sorry, she was… taken.’
‘Taken, what do you mean, taken?’ Dean’s voice was rising to a shout.
‘I left her next to that coffee shop on the next block. I only went in for a minute or two, and when I came out, someone was driving her away, Dean.’
‘You mean they hotwired her while you were ordering coffee?’ asked Dean, incredulously.
‘Well, not exactly,’ Sam hesitated, and waited for the explosion to hit him, ‘I left the keys behind the mirror!’
Dean laid his head against the wall next to the door. He didn’t say anything.
‘Dean?’ Sam ventured.
‘Sam, don’t, just don’t!’ he said, waving a finger in Sam’s direction.
He stood there for a minute or two, breathing heavily, obviously trying to get his emotions under control. Eventually he turned around, and Sam was shocked to see his face set in a tight mask. Only his eyes showed anything: they were burning and glittering with a few unshed tears. He’d expected Dean to show his emotions, to be furious; to start throwing punches even – not this display…
‘Sam,' he said, carefully, but Sam could see his tone was contradicted by his clenching fists, ‘Dad’s diary was in there, all our fake IDs, all our weapons and the Colt, Sam; the Colt!’
‘I’m sorry, Man, I didn’t mean for it to happen! I know how important she is to you!’
‘Do you, Sam? Dad gave her to me when I was sixteen! She’s vintage, Man, and I’ve kept her mint all these years! She’s the only…’ Dean struggled for the right word, ‘… gift I have left from him, except my special ’45. And the Colt and the diary, Dude, with all Dad’s research over the last twenty-plus years – they’re gone too!’ He collapsed into a chair and looked devastated…

Sam was shocked. Seeing Dean like this, well, it was much worse than all the shouting or Dean punching him out.
‘Look, Dean, I’ll get her back, I promise you!’ he said.
Dean’s expression didn’t change. ‘How?’ he said, dully. ‘Got a description of the carjacker? Know his name? You got nuthin’! She’s probably already been sold on or stripped.’
Dean poured himself a large whisky and drank it down straight, then poured another one. He kept his face turned away from Sam.
Dean, I need your help. Work with me; at least let’s try!’ Sam pleaded.
Dean looked around. ‘You got an idea or somethin’?’ he asked, faint hope creeping into his voice.
Sam was relieved to hear this. ‘Maybe…’ he said.

‘Look, I’ve checked and a few old, I mean vintage cars,’ Sam hurriedly corrected himself, ‘have been stolen in this town over the last couple of weeks, so there’s obviously a gang working here and they’re probably stealing the cars to order. If we can find the next car they’re targeting, we can catch them!’
‘Sam, that’s impossible! There’s only the two of us and there must be lots of cars they might go for. We can’t watch them all!’ said Dean.
‘Well, I’ve already called Bobby, and Rufus said he’ll come along for the ride so that’s four of us – should be enough. What do you think?’
‘I think you’re reachin’ but if that’s all we got, let’s do it!’ Dean said, smiling grimly. Sam didn’t want to be in the thieves’ shoes if Dean got hold of them…
Come to that, he wasn’t looking forward to being in his own shoes after this, because there would be a reckoning. Dean wouldn’t leave it like this…

Bobby and Rufus arrived together a couple of hours later. As usual, they were arguing when they walked in.
‘Kinda careless, misplacing your car, ain’t it, Dean?’ said Rufus. He couldn’t resist the dig.
‘Talk to Ginormo here!’ Dean growled, pointing his thumb at Sam.
Sam raised his hand meekly, to acknowledge the blame. Bobby looked at Sam and mouthed, ‘How’s he doin’?’ Sam shook his hand slightly from side to side, as if to say ‘so-so’. Dean caught the exchange and half-smiled to himself. ‘Settle down!’ he growled, but good-naturedly. ‘We got work to do!’

‘Well, I’ve checked the local police database and cars like we’re interested in have been stolen from here, here and here in the last week,’ Sam said, pointing at the map, ‘and the Impala was stolen from here, as we know,’ he said, looking sideways at Dean, but he showed no reaction other than a pulsing in his cheek and a slight grimace, ‘so it looks like they’re working in this area,’ and he circled an area about five blocks square.
‘Do we know of any cars here that they might target next?’ asked Dean.
‘I’ve been out and had a scout round, and I’ve marked three possibles already on here,' Sam pointed again at the map. ‘The cars they’ve stolen were all parked at motels in this area but then they were stolen from outside shops and coffee shops nearby, so maybe they’re tailing the cars and picking them up when they find the right opportunity?’ he guessed.
‘Sounds about right,’ Dean grunted, ‘but we’re running out of time, Dude! We need to get her back before they find what’s inside her, if they haven’t already!’
‘Well, let’s split up and each follow one car then,’ said Bobby.
‘You three follow the cars and I’ll drive around and see if I can spot anything we’ve missed,’ said Dean, not looking at Sam.
Sam looked at him and wondered if Dean just didn’t want to drive around with him, but he said nothing; he didn’t want to provoke a confrontation with Dean now…

Dean and Sam had acquired two nondescript cars before Bobby and Rufus had arrived, so they were all set to go.
‘Let’s meet back here at midnight if we don’t find anything,’ said Dean, ‘and keep me updated about anything you see.’
They nodded and went their separate ways.

Dean drove around for a while, making sure he wasn’t followed, and then he doubled back, parked well away from the motel and silently entered their motel room through the back window. He waited in the dark for someone to come and investigate…

Earlier that morning, about the time Rufus and Bobby arrived at the motel, the car thieves were gathered in the lock-up they were using to stash the stolen cars. Dean’s Impala was in the centre, and the trunk was open.
‘Whoah, there’s an arsenal in here!’ said one of them, picking up Dean’s shotgun and aiming it.
‘And there’s a box of pretty good fake IDs here!’ said another, from the driver’s seat.
‘Who are these guys?’ mused the tall guy who had the hood up and was examining the Impala’s engine. ‘This car’s old but it’s been well looked after, and those guns are in just as good condition. Whoever they are, they’re pros!’
‘Jake, where did you find this car?’ he asked the man holding the shotgun.
‘It was at that old coffee shop near the Sands motel, Jimmy – a big guy was driving it, but I took it while he was ordering a coffee. He ran out when he heard the engine start but I got away OK – don’t worry, I’m sure he didn’t make me!’
‘Look, there are a few other cars we want to snatch before we move on, but first we’d better find out who these guys really are,’ Jimmy said. ‘We don’t want them stickin’ their noses in and messin’ with our plans! Robbie, bring those IDs over,’ he said to the man in the front seat.
Robbie got out and walked over and they all looked at the two men whose images were repeated in all the photographs.
‘Do you recognize either of them, Jake?’ Jimmy asked.
‘Yeah, that’s the big guy who tried to chase me,’ he said, pointing to Sam.
‘What about the other one – seen him around?’ Jimmy asked.
‘He was the one parkin’ the Impala at the motel when I first saw it,’ Jake said.
‘Right then, we don’t do any more jobs until we find out what’s goin’ on,’ said Jimmy…

Sam, Bobby and Rufus had been following the cars they were targeting for a few hours but nothing out of the ordinary had happened yet. All the cars were now parked back at their various motels and they were all playing the waiting game but Sam was becoming increasingly frustrated. There was no sign of the thieves so maybe he’d been wrong about the gang: maybe they’d gone after other cars Sam hadn’t seen, or worse, maybe they’d already left the area, taking the Impala with them? He tried calling Dean’s phone but it went straight to voicemail. He could imagine Dean being close to exploding by now and hoped he hadn’t done something he’d regret later. He cursed his stupidity in leaving the keys in the Impala…

Earlier in the day, soon after the thieves had examined the Impala, Robbie was watching the motel when he saw four men leave the room he was interested in. Two of them were the giant and his partner, the men he was trailing: he’d seen them earlier and saw they were fit and looked like they could handle themselves in a fight. They must be dangerous, judging by the arsenal in the trunk. Maybe they were hit-men? The other two he hadn’t seen before. They were older: one was white and bearded; the other was clean-shaven and black. He shuddered; he was only a small-time thief and this was starting to look heavy. They talked briefly and then got into separate cars and drove off. He got into his car and phoned Jake and Jimmy, to give them a description of the cars and the other men, then he started following Bobby. Jake and Jimmy were nearby and started following the others…

Later, Jimmy laughed out loud as he realized what the men were doing. He was sitting in his car looking at Sam, who was parked near one of the cars they would have taken next if they hadn’t found the weapons in the Impala.
‘Sonofab*tch, they’re trying to catch us!’ he thought. He phoned Robbie. ‘It’s cool, Man, they know which cars we’re after and they’re waitin’ for us to snatch them; so, we just don’t! We’ll hit the road with the cars we’ve got already and go on to the next town. First, though, I want you to find out who they really are. Have a look around their motel room to see what you can find out.’
Robbie knew better than to argue with Jimmy, but he had a bad feeling about this. ‘OK, I’ll meet you back at the lock-up in a couple of hours,’ he said.

Robbie slipped into the motel room. It was locked of course, but not a problem for him. The curtains were all drawn so it was dark and he was waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom when suddenly he was grabbed from behind and a knife was held to his neck, just pricking the skin.
‘Hey, Man, how’re you doin’?’ said a cheerful voice in his ear.
Robbie was tied up, quickly and efficiently, and then Dean turned to him. The cheerful words belied the look on his face, which was cold and set.
‘I’ll make this quick and simple. If you want to get out of here alive, you’ll tell me where my car is and who and where your buddies are,’ Dean said. He spoke calmly but there was a sincerity and certainty to his words which Robbie didn’t doubt for a moment.
‘Your c- car is in a lockup – it’s safe – and I can take you there. My partners will be there soon too,’ he said, realizing it was useless to lie to this man. He told Dean everything …

Dean had already decided on the punishment for this crime so he had a few purchases to make first…

Dean threw Robbie into the trunk of his car and drove to the lock-up. He scouted around but there was no-one here – yet – so he hid the car, checked on Robbie’s bindings and gagged him for good measure, and then he entered the lock-up. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw his baby there; she looked fine on a quick inspection. They’d left the keys in the ignition and he took his shotgun, a handgun and some ammo out of the trunk and waited out of sight, lying down on the back seat…

It wasn’t long before Dean could hear voices and the lock-up opened again, the afternoon sunlight flushing away the gloom except in the far corners.
‘Robbie should be here soon’, said Jimmy.
‘In the meantime, I’m going to help myself to one of those handguns in the Impala – it had pearl handles – sweet!’ said Jake.
‘Hold up, I want to look through first!’ said Jimmy, angrily.
While they were arguing, Dean slid quietly out of the nearside passenger door and crouched down near the tire, hidden from them as they walked towards the trunk.
Jake had just opened it when Dean rose up slowly, a long, slow grin on his face, shotgun loaded and pointed right at them
‘Howdy, pardners!’ he said. ‘Put ‘em up!’ and they both raised their hands.
‘Now, strip down to your shorts!’
They started to protest but Dean cocked his shotgun and they saw the look in his eyes. He might be smiling but he was definitely not amused and he certainly wasn’t bluffing, so they undressed, reluctantly. Dean threw two pairs of handcuffs to each of them. ‘Handcuff your hands and feet around each of those posts’, he said, gesturing towards a couple of thin but strongly anchored metal support girders next to each other. Jimmy and Jake did so, without any fuss – the shotgun was a powerful persuader! They’d held onto a fading hope that Robbie might come and save them, but Dean crushed that when he said, ‘I’ll just go and get your buddy; we don’t want him to miss the party, do we?’

Dean came back a couple of minutes later, dragging a frightened and miserable Robbie by a rope. He faced Robbie and held up a very large, wickedly curving knife in front of his face. Robbie blanched and without looking away, Dean cut Robbie’s bonds with it, smiling grimly all the while, then he pushed him over towards the others. ‘Here, get undressed like your buddies and handcuff yourself over there with these,’ and Robbie did so…

Dean went outside and came back in with a couple of large containers, three-quarters full with something dark; then he went out again and came back in with a large sack filled with something, but they couldn’t tell what.

Dean hunkered down near to them, still smiling. ‘You know, you shouldn’t mess with a man’s wheels, it’s just not right, is it?’ he said, with mock sadness. They shook their heads, agreeing with him that it wasn’t. ‘But you sonsofb*tches are lucky today; I’m feelin’ charitable. My car looks OK and you don’t seem to have messed with anythin' so I’m going to let you off lightly.’

Dean poured the contents of the containers over their heads and emptied the sack over the three of them, sending a cloud of feathers flying through the air…

Sam was concerned as well as frustrated now. There’d been no word from Dean and his cell was apparently turned off. It had been hours since they separated and he was about to call Bobby when his phone rang. It was Dean at last.
‘Dude, what’s happening; where’ve you been?’ Sam asked, but Dean interrupted and said, ‘Hey, Sam, come and meet me and I’ll explain! I’m sending you the coordinates now. It’s a lock-up outside town, on the east side!’ and the phone clicked off before Sam could reply. Dean had sounded … happy? What was going on? Sam phoned Bobby and Rufus, giving them the coordinates Dean had sent him, and drove off to find his brother…

They found Dean sitting on the hood of his baby and drinking a beer outside a large lock-up in an industrial lot outside town. He looked content and pleased with himself.
‘Got your car back!’ said Bobby.
‘Yep, and she’s just fine!’ said Dean, smiling, and he handed them all a beer.

Only Sam looked unhappy. ‘Where are they, Dude?’ he asked Dean, worriedly.
‘Oh, they’re inside,’ said Dean, smiling.
‘Dean, what did you do with them?’ he asked, more urgently.
‘Go and look, Sam, if you’re that worried,’ he said, unruffled.
Sam pulled the door open and stood there for a few seconds, waiting for his eyes to adjust, then his shoulders started shaking and he let out a huge gust of laughter. Bobby and Rufus walked over, drinking their beers, to see what was so funny. They saw three guys, naked except for their shorts, handcuffed to metal girders. They were covered in a dark-brown gloopy mixture and lots and lots of white feathers, and they were bouncing around trying to dislodge the ants and other insects crawling over them, presumably attracted by whatever was covering them. Something in it was giving off a goddamned-awful smell too.
What’s in that stuff, and what’s that smell, Dude?’ Sammy was choking, both with laughter and with the awful stink.
‘It’s my own mix of molasses, sugar and extra-rotten eggs; they’ll get bitten by ants and other insects but I’ll clean them up in an hour or two an’ it’ll teach ‘em a lesson they won’t forget easily. Hey, it’s either that or shoot ‘em!’ said Dean, laughing. Sam wasn’t sure if he was really joking or not – he hadn’t seen Dean so angry in a long time after she’d been taken – and the men weren’t sure either as they looked up fearfully when Dean spoke. Still, he thought they’d gotten off lightly and Dean had been remarkably restrained.
‘Goin’ soft in your old age, Dean?’ Sam asked, lightly.
’Nah, as long as I got my baby back, safe and sound, everythin’s cool,’ he said, jumping off the hood. ‘Sam, look after these keys for me, will ya?' and he quickly tossed Sam some car keys, which he caught in his left hand while his right hand still held his beer. Dean waited a few seconds, and then continued, ‘but people shouldn’t mess with a man’s wheels, Dude, and they shouldn’t forget to take care of them, neither. How’s the beer, Sammy?’ he asked innocently. Sam stopped smiling as he realized too late that Dean was too happy; he was grinning broadly at him in that way that said he’d got one over on Sam. He tried to let go of the bottle but it was stuck fast, and so were the keys in his other hand! Dean held up a tube of superglue!
‘You didn’t, Dean!’
‘Oh, I did, Sammy! I was goin’ to punch you out, but this is so much better,’ he said.
Dean, Bobby and Rufus laughed at Sam’s woeful expression, and Sam, looking at Dean, reminded himself that Dean had let him off lightly, considering, so he gave in and finished the beer off.
‘Jerk!’ he said to Dean.
‘B*tch!’ Dean replied automatically, and they all had another beer, Sammy having to hold his between his two hands, while the men pleaded to be set free.
…Dean let them go, eventually…

Story Copyright © 2013 Spnfanforever

Latest page update: made by october57rain , Dec 25 2013, 3:13 PM EST (about this update About This Update october57rain Edited by october57rain

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PigNaPoke Great fun 1 Aug 8 2014, 6:29 PM EDT by spnfanforever
Thread started: Aug 8 2014, 4:54 PM EDT  Watch
Hahahaha, very nice and lighthearted story. Thanks for that. No cracked ribs, broken bones, split lips or horrible torture. Truly enjoyed it.
Perfect quick read for the commute or on break.
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Magoober That was funny.... 1 Nov 7 2012, 10:50 PM EST by spnfanforever
Thread started: Nov 7 2012, 7:56 PM EST  Watch
"Sammy is an idjit!" I liked this story. It made me laugh a lot. I could picture it in my head. Good images. Loved the picture nice job. More people need to read it.
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