99 Problems Quotes

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EPISODE 516: 99 Problems

episode guide - Supernatural Wiki

Pastor Gideon: So, Rob tells me you boys hunt demons.
Sam: Uh, yes sir.

Pastor Gideon: You missed a few.

Castiel's voicemail machine: You've reached the voice-mail of...
Castiel (on voicemail machine): I don't understand... why, why do you want me to say my name?
Sam: I guess that's what it's like, huh?
Dean: What?
Sam: Having backup.
Sam: No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality.
Dean: 'Course, that's if you can get past the velvet rope. Must be nice -- being chosen.
Leah: Well, Dean... you're chosen.
Dean: More like cursed.
(Castiel appears in the motel room)
Castiel: I got your message. It was long, your message. I find the sound of your voice grating.
(Castiel stands wobbly)
Sam: What's wrong with you? Are you... drunk?
Castiel: Nooo! Yes.
Sam: What the hell happened to you?
Castiel: I found a liquor store.
Sam: And?
Castiel: And I drank it.
Castiel: This creature has the power to take a human form, read minds. Book of Revelations call her the ***** of Babylon.
Dean: Well, that's catchy.
Dean: And the Enochian exorcism?
Castiel: Fake. It actually means, "You, um, breed with the mouth of a goat".
(Castie chuckles; the brothers look blank)
Castiel: It's funnier in Enochian.
Castiel: Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible. And it's just beginning. She's well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit.
Dean: Alright. So then how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this b*tch?
Castiel: The ***** can only be killed by a true servant of Heaven.
Dean: Servant like...?
Castiel: Not you, or me. Sam of course is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else.
Dean: Heads up. (tosses Castiel a bottle of aspirin)
Castiel: How many should I take?
Dean: You? You should probably just down the whole bottle.
Sam: Are you going to do something stupid?
Dean: Like what?
Sam: Like Michael stupid.
Sam (to Dean): I got one thing, one thing, keeping me going. You think you’re the only one white-knuckling it, Dean? I can’t count on anyone else. I can’t do this alone.
Dean (to Lisa): I have no illusions. I know the life that I live. I know how its going to end for me. Whatever. I’m okay with that. But I wanted you to know, that when I do picture myself happy, it’s with you. And the kid.
Sam: Wanna go to church?
Dean: You know me, down right pious.
Dean: Where the hell have you been?
Castiel: On a bender!
Dean: Did... did he just say on a bender?
Sam: Yeah, he's still pretty smashed.
Castiel: It is not of import. We need to talk about what's happening here.
Sam: Leah is not a real prophet.
Dean: Well, what is she then?
Castiel: The *****.
Dean: Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think.

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DaBzNeez Voice Mail 1 Apr 11 2010, 4:03 AM EDT by fierce_huntress

Thread started: Apr 8 2010, 10:00 PM EDT  Watch

Cas's voice mail quote.... priceless!!!! Cas+phones=funny

Like the time he told Dean the phone was telling him he was running out of minutes.

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