Despair Recap

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Jack is about to "detonate" as part of their plan to eliminate God. It appears God is going to kill Jack in the bunker hallway but...

Sam is helping Jack to a chair elsewhere in the bunker. It looks like his insides are starting to burn through his outsides. Cas tells him to hang on, but Jack tells him he's coming apart and doesn't want to hurt anyone. Dean says they have to do something; maybe one of Rowena's spells would help.

Billie appears. She says they were "so close" to following her plan to eliminate God. Dean is furious - tells her Chuck saw her whole plan coming. Sam says it was doomed. Billie says it was doomed because of them. Cas says that Billie led Jack through his trials to become stronger and she knew what would happen and therefore she could also stop what's eating Jack alive. She says she can't stop it, but she can do something. She makes Jack disappear.

Jack realizes he is now standing in The Empty, still about to detonate. The Empty in the form of Meg (Rachel Miner) asks how he got in and comments that he doesn't look so great. Jack says he's sorry, and detonates.

Back at the bunker -

Billie tells Cas, Sam, and Dean that she sent Jack to The Empty; the only player left on the board who could absorb the impact of Jack's imposion (since she says Chuck and Amara are "gone"). Cas asks if Jack's dead. Billie says "maybe". Dean, Sam, and Cas all look stricken at the possibility that Jack is dead. Cas says that Billie said it would be a suicide mission. She corrects him; she said that taking out Chuck and Amara would be fatal. Cas says it's a chain reaction. Billie says yes, but The Empty is different. It might be vast enough to absorb the impact. But if Jack and The Empty both survive, The Empty will be pissed. She says it's strong and not happy with her. But The Empty can't reach her on earth without being summoned.

Cas says that if Jack's alive, Billie has to bring him back. She says not until she gets what she came for. She wants God's death book that Sam took. Sam accuses her of planning to betray them - after they defeated God, Billie planned to take his power for herself.

Sam figures that means that everyone they saved or resurrected would go back to being dead. Including the AU hunters as well as Sam and Dean who have died and come back several times - that is her idea of restoring order.

Sam figures she'll stab them in the back if he hands over the book. She says they don't have a choice. She uses Jack as a bargaining chip; saying that if he's alive, he won't last long and Sam needs to give her her book back now.

In the Empty -
Jack is back together and looking around; looking at his own hands in wonder. The Empty entity starts to take form in front of him in a black swirl. Meg reappears and proceeds to blame Jack for what just happened.

In the bunker -
Sam turns over the book to Billie. She opens it to the last page. Cas asks her what she's doing and she says that since the three of them ruined the last planned ending, God's death book has a new one.

Dean demands that she bring Jack back right now.

In the Empty -
"Meg" draws Jack close to her with an invisible force. She puts a hand on either side of his head, appearing to be very upset that he "made it loud" for her.

In the bunker -
Billie closes God's death book with a smirk, saying "Interesting".

In the Empty -
It looks like "Meg" is going to explode Jack's head when he suddenly disappears and "Meg" cries out in frustration.

Jack appears on the floor of the bunker. Billie says he's still hers though. He's still useful. She goes to take him when Dean lunges at her with her own scythe. He nicks her shoulder and Billie throws Dean away from her with an invisible force before disappearing, leaving Jack and the book in the bunker. Sam picks up the book, but can't open it.

Cas comforts Jack.

Later, Dean is sprawled out in the library in the almost-dark drinking. Sam comes in and grabs a glass saying he couldn't sleep either. Dean slides him the bottle. Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, saying it's like he couldn't stop. They were so close to beating Chuck that nothing else mattered and he couldn't snap out of it.

Sam says Dean DID snap out of it in the end; that Dean had snapped Sam out of worse. Dean makes a noncommittal sound and Sam insists that Dean HAD done that for Sam in the past.

Dean says that whatever Chuck did to Amara, he's probably more powerful than ever. Billie want them dead, Jack's powerless, and Michael isn't returning their prayers. They have no heavy hitters on their side.

Sam says they'll just have to regroup somehow. Dean toasts to "somehow" but neither look very hopeful.

In Death's library -
Billie walks through the stacks. A reaper informs her that he put up the warding she requested to prevent The Empty from getting in again. He says he assumes the plan has changed. She confirms his suspicion.

Elsewhere -
AU Charlie is about to be served breakfast by her girlfriend who admonishes her for cleaning her gun at the table. Charlie talks about the next hunt for them. Taking out some shifters. Like a date. They eat the eggs. Charlie loves them. (They are so cute together.) Suddenly, Charlie's girlfriend Stevie just disappears, Stevie's plate shattering as it hits the floor.

Sam and Dean show up at Charlie's place. She's explaining that she and Stevie met a few months ago when Bobby paired themup on Djinn case, thinking Stevie might need Charlie as backup. Charlies says she didn't though; she told Stevie she likedthe way she handled herself and Stevie accused her of flirting. Charlie cries. She didn't know who else to call. She wonders why it was Stevie who was taken and not her?

Sam asks what Charlie saw. She says it was just instant - no signs. she just vanished. Dean gives Sam a look and Charlieasks, "What?".

Cas and Jack wait outside of Charlie's. Cas says Sam and Dean won't be long; they just didn't take Jack and Cas in withthem because they didn't want to overwhelm their friend. Jack doesn't mind. Cas asks how Jack is feeling; he's beenquiet. Jack wonders how long Cas has been waiting to ask him that. Cas says he didn't want to overwhelm him. They lean on the Impala. Jack says he feels strange but he doesn't know why. Maybe he feels strange because it's over - the big plan - his destiny. He was ready to die and he wanted to to save the world. He wanted to fix things but now he doesn't know why he's here.

Cas says Jack never needed absolution from him or Sam or Dean. They don't care about him because he's useful or part of a plan - they care about him because he is himself.

Jack cries. He says all the major entities are mad at them and he doesn't have his powers and he can't protect them. He's scared. Cas says he knows. Cas says he is too. They sit in silence.

Upstairs in Charlie's apartment, Dean tells her that they've made some big enemies lately. Like Death. Sam tells her that Death wants to send all the AU hunters back to worlds that don't exist anymore.

Charlie surmises that Death is killing the AU hunters in that way.

Dean's not sure, but Stevie fits a pattern. Charlie is upset that she fell in love again and this happened. She asks if Stevieis only collateral damage to them and is that what she will be too?

Sam's phone rings. It's Bobby. Sam takes it.

Dean apologizes to Charlie and then asks Sam what the call is about.

Sam says Bobby was on a hunt with another AU hunter and THAT AU hunter just vanished.

Charlie says it's spreading.

Dean figures no one is safe; all those from other worlds or who were resurrected. Sam panics when he realized that Eileen is one of those people. Charlie tells them to go find her.

Sam texts Eileen as they drive. She replies. He tells her to wait for them and then there is no reply. He tries again.


Dean drives faster after they share a look.

They pull up next to Eileen's car. Sam finds her phone on the ground next to her bag. Her screensaver is a sweet picture of Sam with an open book at the table in the bunker. Her phone says she missed two of Sam's messages. Her last message back to Sam cuts off mid-sentence. She's gone.

Sam's looks grief-stricken and Dean makes a move to talk to him, starting with, "Sammy?" but Sam just says "no". He says he can't. He says he'll lose his mind if he lets himself think she's gone. He says they have to get everyone to safety instead. Sam figures they need somewhere central, secure, and contained - they'll get the AU hunters there and put up every bit of warding they've ever used to try to protect them.

Dean tells Sam to go do that. Sam's not happy that Dean is obviously not planning to go with him. Dean says Sam's plan to keep everyone safe is good, but Dean has to go finish what he started. Dean reasons that Billie left her scythe behind; and he can kill her with that. Even if they can't touch Chuck right now, he CAN kill Billie.  He is operating under the assumption that Billie is trying to "set things right" by picking off those who should not be alive on earth because of past deaths or travel through an AU portal.

Dean tells Sam they don't have a choice. Cas offers to go with Dean. Sam tells Dean to be careful. Dean and Sam hug and Dean and Cas leave.

Sam watches them go with tears in his eyes.

Jack and Sam go to round up the AU hunters. Sam talks to Donna on the phone; she thinks she found a place to keep people safe. An abandoned silo. Sam and Jack take Eileen's car. Donna wants to know the plan, but Sam says he's still working on that. Sam tells Jack he needs him to drive while Sam looks through spells. Jack shifts over to the driver's seat. Sam obviously just wants to give Jack something to do after he noticed him brooding on the drive.

Back at the bunker, Dean tells Cas they have to move fast. They plan to use the key to get into Billie's library; destroy the place if she's not there so that it draws her to them. Cas looks nervous.

At the silo -
Sam and Jack arrive and meet Donna. Jack goes to set up the warding. Donna hugs Sam. She says she's sorry about Eileen. Sam doesn't reply. Donna says Garth, Jody and the girls, are all on alert in case Sam needs them. Sam points out that since they are not from the AU or resurrected, they should be okay. So should Donna. Donna heads inside the silo.

Charlie pulls up. Sam says he's glad she came. Charlie says she doesn't want this to happen to anyone else. She heads inside.

Warding covers the inside of the silo. Bobby talks to Sam. He tells Sam that Sam's in charge of everyone. They all came without hesitation when Sam called. Bobby's worried that there isn't a bathroom. Sam tells him that if Dean and Cas can pull off what they are planning, they shouldn't have to stay in the silo for long. Bobby asks if Sam thinks it should work - all the warding. In addition to the warding, Sam has a spell from Rowena to boost the warding strength. Bobby isn't loving the "should work" but Sam admits it's all he has. Sam looks around at all the AU hunters putting up warding.

Jack pauses while painting sigils to look at a plant on the ground. He puts a hand over it and it dies. Jack looks at his hand, confused.

Elsewhere -

Dean and Cas enter Death's library. Dean approaches Billie as he holds her scythe. Cas holds an angel blade. Billie asks if they plan to kill her with her own weapon. Cas confirms that they do. Billie says Dean will have to work on his aim since he only nicked her last time. Dean says last time he wasn't trying to kill her. Dean accuses her of killing his friends. She throws Dean then chokes Cas. She wants to take revenge on Cas for the time he stabbed her in the back. Dean, meanwhile, has gotten to his feet and comes at Billie again with her own scythe. He gets the blade at her throat and she grabs it with both hands to keep Dean from killing her. He demands that she call it off and stop killing his people. Billie says she's not the one doing it. She tells Dean he's in the wrong place.

Back in the silo -
Sam's reading Rowena's spell to power up the warding. The symbols glow. Charlie asks what they do now. Sam says they wait.

Back in Death's library -
Billie, Dean still holding the scythe to her throat, tells Dean that if people are disappearing, she's guessing it's Chuck's doing and Dean is just wasting his time with her.

Back in the silo -
AU hunters start vanishing into thin air. One by one they disappear. Including Charlie, then Bobby, then even Donna dissolves into thin air until Sam is alone with Jack.

Back in Death's library -
Billie informs Dean that when he cut her the first time; when he nicked her with her own scythe, it was fatal. She can't survive it. She doesn't care about his friends or family. But seeing Dean care has reminded her of the one thing she'd like, one more wish before she goes - she'd like to see Dean dead.

She makes a move and grabs her scythe back. She comes after Dean and Cas. Dean runs for the door that leads from her library back to the bunker.

Back in the silo -
Sam and Jack look at the empty room.

In the bunker -
Dean and Cas enter the main room. Dean tells himself to think. Cas wants to know where Dean is going; points out that Billie can find them anywhere. Dean says he knows; he's just frantic to think of something, anything that will help. Dean asks what will they do, just as he grabs his heart in pain and collapses to the floor, Billie appearing behind him on the bunker's balcony. Dean tells Cas he can feel Billie and what she's doing to his heart. Cas helps him struggle out of the room, telling Dean he has to go.

Billie walks slowly after them, taunting Dean about always breaking the rules and defying Death - he's everything she lived to set right and put down and tame.

She continues to pursue them through the bunker. Dean holds his heart and leans on Cas as they continue to flee. Billie ominously drags her scythe down the wall of the bunker's corridor. Billie tells Dean it's time for the sweet release of death.

Cas and Dean stumble into the bunker's interrogation room and Cas locks the door. Dean is gasping and holding his chest. Cas reaches into Dean's pocket and grabs his Kershaw pocket knife. Cas slices his own palm and draws a sigil in his own blood on the inside of the door. Dean continues to struggle for breath. Cas powers up the warding and Dean stands up. Cas says the warding blocked Billie's grip on him.

Billie starts pounding her fist on the door from the outside.

Cas wonders if they can wait Billie out - if the wound Dean inflicted on her earlier will kill her before she can break through the warding and get to them. Dean asks what if they can't wait her out? Cas says then they fight. Dean says they'll lose that fight - he just led them into another trap, all because he couldn't hurt Chuck; because he was angry and just needed something to kill (Billie) and that's all he knows how to do.

Cas walks towards Dean. Dean tells him it was Chuck all along. Billie pounds relentlessly at the door. Dean tells Cas he shouldn't have sent Jack with Sam, that he and Cas should be with them right now. Dean realizes that everyone is going to die and he can't stop it. Dean says Billie is going to get through the door. Cas says he knows she will. Dean continues to speak, saying  that once Billie is in, she'll kill Cas, then him. He tells Cas he's sorry.

Cas looks like he's getting an idea. He says there's one thing she's afraid of, one thing strong enough to stop her. Cas finally tells Dean that when Jack was dying, he made a deal with The Empty to save him. He explains to a stunned Dean that the price for Jack's life was Cas' life - the deal was that when he experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned to come take Cas forever. Dean asks why Cas is telling him this now.

Cas steps closer to him. Cas says he's wondered ever since he took on that curse; what in the world could it be that would give him that kind of happiness? What would his true happiness even look like? He never found an answer. (I am going to type out the rest of the conversation verbatim because it was a very important conversation to one faction of our fandom - those who see more than friendship between Dean and Cas.  This episode was originally titled "The Truth" and I think it was the truth about DEAN - but many saw it as Cas revealing his true feelings for Dean.)

Cas: Because the one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have. But I think I know, I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being. It's in just saying it.

Dean: What are you talking about, man?

Cas: I know, I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken, you're Daddy's blunt instrument. You think that hate and anger; that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done; the good and the bad, you've done for love. You raise your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Cas: Because it is. I love you.

Dean: Don't do this Cas.

Cas is in tears. More emotional than we've ever seen. Dean looks like he's fighting back tears the whole time, stunned at what Cas is telling him.

The wall behind Dean starts to move with black goo; The Empty is coming into the room, summoned by Cas' declaration as his moment of true happiness. Dean looks at it, then turns back to Cas. Billie breaks down the door at the same moment.

Cas puts a bloody hand on Dean's shoulder and flings him to the floor, out of harm's way. He smiles peacefully down at him as Dean watches in horror. Cas takes a deep breath as the black goo of the Empty engulfs first Billie, then Cas and pulls them through the wall and out of the room, leaving Dean utterly alone.

Back at the silo -
Jack and Sam walk outside. Sam calls Dean. He gets his message. Sam's worried Dean's gone too since he's not answering. Jack asks with a shaky voice if it was just the people with them in the silo who vanished. Sam says he doesn't know.

We see shots of various places...all abandoned. Not a human being in sight.

Sam fights back tears and Jack looks at him.

Back in the bunker -

Dean's phone rings as he's sitting, stunned, on the floor of the room where Cas was taken. He sees it's Sam. He doesn't answer. He buries his head in his hands.