|EPISODE 117: HELL HOUSE
|Boy#2: Want me to hold your hand? (offers his hand and she takes it) Are there any other parts I can hold?
Girl: (gives him a look and lets go of his hand) Ew, shut up, you loser!
|Boy#1: Oh look - it's the evil root cellar.|
|Sam: (hesitantly) Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas, so, uh, last night I searched some local... paranormal websites and I found one.
Dean: And what's it called?
(Sam is reluctant)
Sam: Hell Hound's Lair dot com.
|Sam: That was your great idea? To burn the house down?
Dean: Well, no one will go in any more.
Dean: Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.
|Ed: Okay, we've got an obligation to our fans, to the truth...
Dean: Well I have an obligation to kick both of your little asses.
Sam: Dean, Dean, hey, hey, just forget it, alright. These guys... I could probably b*tchslap them both.
|Dean: I don't know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but you know, the cops might be right about this one.|
|Dean: Why don't you tell us about that house - without lying through your ass this time?|
|Dean: Man, I hate rats.
Sam: Would you rather it was a ghost?
|Harry: What are you guys doing here?
Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Ed: Uh, we belong here, we're professionals.
Dean: Professional what?
|Dean: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter.|
|Dean: What's the matter, Sammy? You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
Sam: All right. Just remember you started it.
Dean: Oh, bring it on, baldy.
|Ed: Sweet Lord of the Rings – run!!|
|Ed: Woo! It's that pot we smoked earlier - gave me the giggles.|
|Dean: People believe in Santa Claus - why aren't I getting hooked up every Christmas?
Sam: 'Cause you're a bad person.
|Dean: I thought the legend said that Mordecai only goes after chicks.
Sam: It does.
Dean: Alright, well I mean that explains why it went after you, but why me?
|Ed: This stuff right here — this is our ticket to the big time. Fame, money, sex. With girls. Okay? Be brave. Okay, WWBD. What would Buffy do? Huh?
Harry: What would Buffy do? I don't know, but, Ed, she’s stronger than me.
|Sam: It kinda makes you wonder. Of all the things we've hunted, how many exist just because people believed in them?|
|Dean: Looks like old man Murdoch was a bit of a tagger during his time.
Sam: And after his time, too. The reverse cross was used by satanists for centuries, but the sigil of sulphur didn't show up in San Francisco until the '60's.
Dean: Exactly why you never get laid.
|Ed: (off-screen) Dude, I've got the munchies.|
|(after Ed and Harry have left, explaining that they have to meet a producer for rights to a movie)
Sam: I have a confession to make. I'm the one who called them pretending to be a producer.
Dean: That's great! I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat.
|(Dean's hand is stuck to his beer)
Dean: You didn't.
Sam: Oh, I so did.
(Sam holds up superglue)
|(after Same played a prank on Dean)
Dean: Is that all you got? That is weak! That is bush-league!
|(Dean puts a spoon in Sam's mouth when he’s sleeping; Sam wakes up and is startled by it)
Sam: Haha very funny.
Dean: (laughs) Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kinda got to make your own.
|(after Sam superglued a beer bottle to Dean's hand)
Dean: I barely have any skin left on my palm.
Sam: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.
|[after Dean puts itching powder in Sam's shorts]
Sam: Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or somethin'.
[Dean laughs and starts to walk away]
Sam: You did this?
[Dean laughs again]
Sam: You're a friggin' jerk!
Dean: Oh yeah!
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