| Outside, night
A girl walks out of a house, carrying a flashlight. "Mitch?" she says, "Ashley? You out here?" A porch swing is swinging squeakily behind her. "Come on guys! Where are you?" she says, and then she hears a rustling in the bushes. "Hello?" she calls, "Hello?" Suddenly a hand grabs her by the shoulder and she turns around with a scream, but then says "Brody!" in relief. "Ashley and Todd are dead, Wendy they're dead," the guy says. She tells him to pull it together and he replies "Pull it together? We don't have a chance! We have to get out of here now." "No, Brody we are not leaving!" she says. "We have got to find my sister." "No, I am leaving right now," he says, and runs into the bushes. "Brody! Brody get back here right now!" she yells after him, but he doesn't come back. She stands still and then suddenly hears something behind her. She turns around and screams, then slowly her voice dies out and we see that a camera is pointing at her face. "Cut!" yells the director sitting nearby with the rest of his crew. "What the hell was that?" he says quietly. The girl walks away, taking a drink from a man nearby. "Thanks, Walter," she says as the director comes up to her. "It's all good, Tara, that was great. Let's do it again… maybe we try dialling up that scream, huh?" "I know, I know," she replies, "I'm just have trouble with the tennis ball." "Oh you know that is just for the CG registration, when Ivan and the effects guys are done, it is going to look terrifying. Want to look at the concept sketches again, will that help?" He shows her a picture of a skeleton with a flaming chainsaw. "No, no, that's ok, I'll find it," she says. "I know you will, pumpkin," he grins, and then walks away. Tara walks over to her chair, where one of the other actors is sitting. One of the set guys is telling him that when he works after hours, it feels like something is watching. "Come on," says the other actor. "Hey. Working on a movie like this? Weird crap's bound to happen," the worker goes on. "Frank thinks the stage is haunted. Like for real," the actor tells Tara. "All I'm sayin' is, when they call wrap, I get done, and I get out of here," Frank says. "Fast." "That guy is definitely off his meds," the actor says as Frank walks away. Later on set, Tara is by herself, practicing her scream when she hears something strange. She starts to walk through the set. "Come on, it's not funny," she says, but nothing. "Ok, haha very funny," she goes on, "who's there?" Still nothing. Then suddenly she stumbles over a cap on the ground, and she looks up. On the ceiling, covered in blood, is Frank, the set worker. She screams. Elsewhere on the set, the director looks up, hearing her, and says "Now that's what I'm talking about!"
Somewhere near the set
Dean and Sam are riding on a little touring bus, as a woman's voice is telling them all about the sets around. "Hey, you know this is where they filmed Creepshow?" Dean says to a kid sitting next to him, but the kid just stares at him. The tourguide's voice goes on to say that they are passing the set where they are filming the tv show Gilmore Girls. "And if we're lucky, we might even see one of the show's stars," she finishes. Sam looks up quickly, and Dean watches him, smiling, then gives him a thumbs up. "Come on," says Sam, looking slightly awkward, and gets off the bus. "Let's finish the tour!" Dean says, but follows him anyway. They start walking. "Sam, check it out, it's Matt Damon," says Dean excitedly, pointing at somebody. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's not Matt Damon," Sam says. "No it is," Dean replies. "Well Matt Damon just picked up a broom and started sweeping," Sam says. "Yeah well he's probably researching a role, or something," Dean says. "I don't think so," Sam says, and then says "This way, I think Stage 9's over here." "No come on man, let's keep going this way," Dean says, but once again follows Sam anyway. "You wanted to come to LA," Sam reminds him. "Yeah for a vacation!" Dean complains. "Swimming pools, movie stars… not to work!" "This seem like swimming pool weather to you, Dean?" Sam asks him. "I mean, it’s practically Canadian." "Yeah…" Dean agrees. "I just figured that after everything that happened with Madison, you could use a little R&R, that's all." "Well maybe I want to work, Dean. Maybe it keeps my mind off things," Sam replies. "Okay, okay, alright," Dean says quickly. "So this crew guy, what, he died on set?" "Yeah. Rumours are spreading like wildfire online, they're saying the set's haunted," Sam tells him. "Like Poltergeist?" Dean asks. "It could be a poltergeist," Sam agrees. "No no no, the movie Poltergeist," Dean says. When Sam looks at him blankly, he says "You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you? It was rumoured that the set of Poltergeist was cursed, that they used real human bones as props, and that at least three of the actors died in it." "Yeah it could be something like that," Sam says. "Alright so this crew guy, what's his name?" Dean asks. "Frank Jaffey." "Frank Jaffey – you got a death certificate or a coroner's report or anything?" "No, but it's LA, you know? It might not even be his real name," Sam says. "But the girl who found him, she said she saw something. A vanishing figure." "Uh, Tara Benchley," Sam replies. "Whoa whoa whoa. Tara Benchley?" Dean says in shock, turning to look at Sam. "From Fear.com, Ghostship Tara Benchley? Dude why didn’t you say so?" "So now you're suddenly on board?" Sam says incredulously. Dean quickly composes himself. "I mean – I'm just - I'm a fan of her work," he replies. "It's very good." He quickly walks away and Sam watches him suspiciously.
On set
On set, a man is telling the crew that he thinks the movie needs to be a little bit brighter. "Brad, this is a horror movie," says the director. "Who says horror has to be dark? It's sort of depressing." Then he turns and looks over at Sam and Dean. "Uh, excuse me. Green shirt guy? Yeah, yeah, you. Come here." Dean looks shocked, but then walks over. "Can you get me a smoothie from Crafty?" Dean looks at him blankly. "You want a what from who?" Brad looks at him. "You are a PA? This is what you do?" Sam quickly runs over to rescue his brother. "Uh, yeah, one smoothie coming right up." He quickly pulls Dean away. "What's a PA?" asks Dean. "I think they're kinda like slaves," Sam replies, then turns to look back at Brad and gives him a thumbs up. "They'll let anybody in this business, huh?" Brad says and the other guys nod.
Dean walks up with a tray of smoothies. He looks up at the ceiling of the set, then puts down the smoothies and heads up the stairs to the rafters, taking out his EMF meter. Just then the lights change, and he hears the director saying "Okay, why don't we take it from 'come on it'll be fun'? And action." Dean keeps going as downstairs, the actors begin filming and Tara begins to read in Latin. Dean leans out as far as he can with his EMF meter, but nothing.
Later, Sam and Dean are standing by the food table. "So?" Sam says. "No EMF anywhere," Dean replies, eating. "Great. So what do you think?" Sam asks. "Well. I think being a PA sucks, but… the food these people get, are you kidding me? I mean look at these things." He picks up a small sandwich from the table. "They're like miniature philly cheese steak sandwiches, they're delicious!" He holds it out to Sam. "Maybe later," Sam replies, and Dean shrugs and takes a bite himself. "What did you find out about the dead crew guy?" he asks Sam, a piece of food hanging out of his mouth. Sam stares at him for a minute, and then replies "Frank Jaffey was just filling in for the day, nobody here knew where he lived or anything." "Great, so you found out about as much as I did," Dean says. "Well not quite –" Sam begins but then another crew member walks up and takes one of the sandwiches. "They're wonderful," Dean says to him as he walks away. Sam goes on to say he did find out something about the set's history, that four people have died there over the past 80 years, two sucides and two fatal accidents. "Any one of those could be a vengeful spirit," Dean says. "Yeah," Sam agrees. "Just gotta find out more." Suddenly Dean sees Tara walking just a little ways away. "I'll get right on that," he says, and walks over, grabbing a script from a person walking by. "Hey are you supposed to get one of these?" he asks. She looks up at him in surprise and he smiles shyly. "I don't really know what I'm doing, so…" he admits. She smiles. "First day?" "Yeah… my big break," he says. She smiles as he goes on "I know it's really uncool to say this but I'm a big fan… I loved you in Boogeyman." "Oh God, what a terrible script," she laughs. "But thank you." Dean nods and then says "you found him right? The – dead guy?" She doesn't answer and he says quickly, "I'm sorry, you probably don't even want to talk about this –" "No, no, actually it’s okay," Tara replies. "No one around here really brings it up much. I think they're all kinda scared I'm going to have some kind of breakdown." "That must have been awful," Dean goes on. "What happened?" "It was horrible," she says. "There was all this blood, coming from his eyes, and mouth… and I saw this… um.." she stops. "What?" Dean asks. "I saw this shape. To tell you the truth I don't know what I saw, I just know I saw it." She takes a drink from a guy walking by. "Thanks Walter." Dean asks her if she knew Frank, and she says "No, not that well." "That's funny, it's like nobody around here actually knew the guy," Dean says. "I've got his picture," she says. "You do?" Dean says. She pulls out a photo album, telling him that it's something she does to pass the time, take pictures of all the crew members. She shows him the picture. "Son of a b*tch," he says.
Apartment
Dean and Sam knock on a door, and the man who opens it is Frank, the dead crew member. "Gerard St. James?" Dean asks. "Yeah," he says. "You're still alive, and you're not Frank Jaffey," Sam says. "Uh, no," he says. Dean asks him about a part he played in a movie, and then says "I knew I recognized you. I am a huge fan. I mean, your turn as the tractor crash victim in Critters 3?" "Critters 3," Gerard says with a smile. Then he invites them in. He hands them some coffee, and tells them that the producers brought him up for the day just to play Frank. "Just to fake your death?" Dean asks. "Rumors of a haunted film set? Free publicity? Especially when you're making a horror movie. I mean it's already all over the internet," Gerard says. "Yeah, we know," Sam smiles. "These days, it's all about new media. Building the buzz." "And the ghost Tara saw?" Sam asks. "Oh, projected on a screen of diffusion," Gerard replies. "Isn't that kind of cruel?" Dean wonders. "Messing with their heads like that?" Gerard laughs. "I just play the part. I don't write the script. Speaking of – I play Willie in a dinner theater production all next month," he says. He pulls out an ad and hands it to Dean. "You get a free pepper steak with coupon." "Well if you're seen in public, won't that ruin the hoax?" Dean asks. "Please," says Gerard with a laugh. "Frank and Willie are totally different characters." "You know what, thanks very much Mr. St. James," Sam says, putting down his coffee. "It was just nagging at us, but we're very glad you're alive and well." They stand up and shake hands.
On set
They are filming a scene on the set. "When we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from hell," one of the actors is saying. The man working on the sound can't hear it, there's some sort of static. "We're not going anywhere until we find Wendy and her sister, got it? So let's get busy," the actor goes on. "Cut!" calls the director. "No good for sound, I'm getting some kind of feedback," the sound guy calls. "It's a great scene, it is," Brad is saying to the director, "but I still got a few… not problems, just questions." "Like what?" "Well for one thing, the rules aren't really landing for me. Like the kids do this Latin chant, and that makes the ghost show up?" "Yeah." "But see if the ghost are in hell, how do they hear the chanting? What do they have super hearing? It's logic, the rules don't track." "Marty, you're the writer," says the director. "How about we throw in an explainer," Marty says. "That'd be super. Excuse me, I've got to check some messages," Brad says as his pager beeps. Brad is listening to his messages, and we can see a white shape standing behind him. He continues to listen to messages before he turns to see a woman standing next to him, all white with black lips, eyes, and hair. "Has McG seen this?" he asks. She doesn't answer. "I like the whole body paint black and white thing, but I don't think those neck wounds are really gonna read on camera. They need to be – red, you know what I'm saying? Hey Jay?" he turns around. "I need to speak to make up right away." She suddenly comes up quickly behind him and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around "Yes?" She takes off the robe she is wearing, and he watches her as she climbs up the stairs towards the top of the set. Meanwhile they are still filming. "When we read from that book, we must have brought them back. Back from hell," the guy says again. "But I don't understand. If they're in hell, how could they hear her chanting?" asks the girl. "They must have super-hearing," the other replies, and suddenly something falls through the roof of the set. The girl starts screaming as we see that it is Brad, hanging by his neck, dead.
On the set, later
Tara as Wendy walks into the little cabin they were in earlier, and one of the guys says "Wendy?" "Oh my gosh you're alive!" she says, hugging him. The director calls, "Rumble, rumble, rumble!" and the set shakes. "Salt. Okay, we need salt. I read in that book that it keeps ghosts away," Tara says. Meanwhile Marty the writer says "He killed himself. Like, for real. Don't you think we should shut it down or something?" "We had a moment of silence for him at breakfast. He was just a studio guy," says the man sitting next to him. "I love you," Tara is saying on film. "I know," says the guy, and Tara winces as he shines the flashlight in her eyes. "Sorry," he says. She sighs. "Can we – can we cut, or something?" "Uh, yeah, cut," says the director. "That's a cut!" Dean yells, standing at the side with a headset on and eating something. "I'm the only one that can say cut," the director says to some of his people, and then goes over to Tara. "What's up?" "Sorry, I'm just a little upset," she admits. "Well, with everything that's been going on around here, who can blame you?" he says. "I can't wrap my head around the dialogue," she goes on. "Salt? I mean doesn't that sound silly? I mean why would a ghost be afraid of salt?" Dean laughs to himself nearby. The director asks Marty what else a ghost would be afraid of. Walter, the PA nearby, looks at the script in his hands and says quietly, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me." "Maybe shotguns," says Marty. "Okay, that makes even less sense than salt," says the director. Walter looks disgusted and walks away, muttering "These people are idiots." Sam walks up to Dean looking surprised. "Walter's a little testy for a PA, huh?" Deans says. "How's it going in here?" Sam asks. "It is going really good. Tara has really stepped up her performance." Sam gives him a weird look. "You know when I ask you how it's going I mean about the case, right? We don't really work here. I mean, I thought you hated being a PA." "I dunno," says Dean, "It's not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know?" Sam begins to tell him that he got into the morgue and that the news reports were right about Brad, but Dean keeps on talking to someone over his headset. "Sorry," he says, turning back to Sam. "The news reports were right. Brad's a doornail," Sam finally finishes. Dean takes Sam over to the sound guy, and tells him to play that thing he was playing earlier. Sam puts on the headpones and listens. Over the recording from earlier, he can quite clearly hear EVP. "EVP," Sam says, and Dean tells him he's suddenly getting tons of EMF. "Well who's the ghost, Dean, what does it want?" Sam wonders. "I don't know. I think we should take a look at Brad's death scene," Dean replies.
Brad's trailer
Dean and Sam go into Brad's trailer and put in the DVD of the scene. They watch as Brad falls through the ceiling. Sam suddenly says for Dean to run it back, and Dean pauses it. There is a figure standing in the back, someone who wasn't on the set, a woman in white. "It's like Three Men and a Baby all over again," Dean says. Sam looks at him weird, and he explains that in one of the scenes there is apparently a boy caught on film that nobody remembers being on the set. "Spirit photography," he finishes. Sam looks back at the TV and says, "I've seen her before."
On set
The boys are sitting together and Sam pulls out an old newspaper article. "Here, take a look at this," he says. Dean starts to talk over his headset again and Sam sighs. "Look, Elise Drummond. Starlet back in the thirties." He tells him how she hung herself during a scene they were shooting after she was fired, and they mention how Brad's death matches hers exactly. "Wer're digging tonight, aren't we?" Dean says. They wrap up the day of shooting and the director is telling Jay he's a genius.
Graveyard
The boys are walking through the graveyard and Dean is looking at a map of what graves are where. "This map is totally worth the five dollars," he says. "Hey, we oughta go check out Joey Ramone's grave after." "What you want to dig him up too?" Sam says. As they walk Sam wonders why Elise is suddenly going homicidal after all this time. "I dunno, maybe she's mad they're making a scary ghost flick," Dean says. The boys find Elise's grave and start digging.
On set
Jay is on set, talking to the director over the phone. He finishes and suddenly the lights go out. He yells for somebody, but no one answers.
Meanwhile, Dean and Sam open the coffin, and they salt and burn her bones.
Jay is walking through the set when he sees someone move up ahead. "Hey!" he calls. "Hey pal, can you show me to the exit? I can't see a damn thing." The guy doesn't move. He yells at him again and suddenly he turns around, and his head and face are all mutilated and bloody. Jay yells and falls backward. Suddenly a fan turns on nearby, and Jay starts getting pulled toward it. He yells and screams and reaches for something to grab onto, but he can't and he is pulled into the fan. Blood splatters.
We see a movie preview for Hell Hazers II: The Reckoning. (From the producers of Cornfield Massacre, Monster Truck, and the director of Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, and Hell Hazers.)
On set
Dean and Sam look at the death scene and Sam says that the same thing happened to an electrician back in '66, a guy named Billy Beard. "What the hell, dude?" Dean says. "I don't know. It doesn't seem like Elise this time, it's not her MO," Sam replies. "Yeah we already torched her, so what, are we dealing with another ghost?" Dean asks. "Maybe," Sam replies. "Yeah but these things don't usually tag team," Dean says.
The director climbs out of his car and calls everybody around, saying he has an announcement to make. "In light of Jay's accident last night, and in cooperation with authorities, we're shutting down production for a few days. I know, I know, look I'm not gonna lie to you, we've had a few setbacks this week. But we all know what Jay and Brad wanted more than anything – and that was to see Hell Hazers II: The Reckoning on movie screens all across America. Now we owe it to them to go on, and pull it together, and make this damn movie, huh!" Everybody starts clapping. "But not today. So go home. Somebody'll call you." He walks away.
Brad's trailer
Sam is sitting on the couch, watching the outtakes from the film. He looks bored. Dean walks in. "So you find out where the electrician was buried?" Sam asks. "He wasn't. Billy Beard was cremated," Dean replies, taking a drink out of the fridge. "Great. Now what?" Sam asks. "No idea. Anymore ghost cameos in the dailies?" Dean asks, sitting down next to Sam. "Not in the first six hours," Sam replies. "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie cause they think it sucks. Cause I mean it kinda does." They keep watching, and suddenly Sam leans forward and runs it back, where Tara is reading the Latin. "Dean, that's the real deal," he says. "A Necromanic summoning ritual. What the hell is that doing in a Hollywood movie?"
Jay's office
The boys go to Jay's old office to talk to him, and he asks them what they're still doing there. "Yeah, sorry man, look we just couldn't help ourselves. We just wanted to tell you that we read the script," Sam says quickly. "And?" Marty says. "Yeah. It's awesome," says Sam. "Awesome," Dean agrees. "I know, it's pretty rockin', right? I'm glad you guys liked it," Marty says with a grin. "I really liked all the attention to detail," Sam says. "Dude, right on, that's my thing," Marty replies. "I mean, color me guilty? But that's my thing." Sam adds that he really liked all the summoning rituals and language. "What, you mean that Latin crap?" Marty cuts in. "No, man, that's Walter. Walter Dickson. The original writer. You like that garbage?" "Walter? You mean the PA Walter?" Dean asks. Marty explains that he's not a PA, he's allowed to come on set because of his contract. Dean asks if he wrote the rituals, and Marty replies that he wrote a whack-job script with no love interest or pace. "I had to cut about 90% of it to make it readable. And another 10% to make it good," Marty finishes.
On set
Dean and Sam are reading the original script, and Dean says it's actually pretty good. "Yeah, and it reads like a how-to manual on conjuration. Like a text book on how to summon ghosts and get them to do what you want," Sam says. "Like how to kill people," Dean says. "Yeah. So let's say that down the line Walter learned some pretty black magic." "Yeah. And let's say he's pissed at these people for wrecking his movie," Dean adds. They agree it's worth checking out.
Marty is walking through the set to meet Walter. "So? You wanted to meet?" he says. Walter doesn't answer. "Hey I'm a little busy here, buddy," he says. "I'm working on a script." "Oh yeah, you guys worked on it a lot," Walter says. "It needed work," Marty says. "And why couldn't we have done this in my office?" "You know the history," Walter begins. "The lore in my draft was completely accurate." Marty notices Walter is holding something in his hand. "We could've got it right for the first time ever, in this horror house of a town. But you tore it to shreds. You replaced it with cleavage and fart jokes. It was real." "Who gives a rat's ass about real?" Marty asks. "We're talking about ghosts here, Walter, there's no such thing." "That's where you're wrong, Marty," Walter says, walking forward. He holds up the thing in his hand and begins to speak in Latin. "Okay now. End of meeting," says Marty, turning around. Right in front of him is the man with the mutilated head. He screams. The fan turns on, and the ghost begins to drag Marty toward the fan. Walter is yelling that Marty ruined his script. Suddenly, just before he is dragged into the fan, a shot rings out and the ghost disappears. Dean runs forward holding his shotgun, followed by Sam. "You are one hell of a PA," Marty says, and Dean replies "I know" and helps him up. Sam begins to yell at Walter, asking him what he's doing, raising spirits from the dead and making them kill for him. "That's playing with fire, Walter," he says. Walter runs to the top of the stairs. "You don't understand," he says. "You put your heart and soul into something, years of hard work. It's years! And then they take it! And they crap all over it! And then they want you to smile and say thank you." "Walter, listen, it's just a movie, that's it," Sam says desperately. "Look," Walter says, "I got nothing against you man, you're not part of this. Just please leave. But Martin's gotta stay." "Sorry, can't do that," Dean says. "It's not that we like him or anything, it's just a matter of principle." "Then I'm sorry too," Walter says, holding up the talisman again and speaking in Latin. The ground shakes, and suddenly three ghosts appear nearby. They begin to approach. Then they suddenly disappear. Sam is thrown aside, but Dean helps him up and they start to run. Sparks are flying from equipment as they run through the set. They finally reach the cabin set and run in, then realize the back of it is open. "I can't believe these ghosts are real!" Marty says. "How is Walter controlling them?" "That talisman," says Sam. Then he gets an idea, and pulls out a camera from his pocket. He looks at the screen and sees the ghost coming. He tells Dean where to shoot, and it disappears. They continue like that for a bit, and then Sam hands the camera to Marty and tells him to take over.
Sam cuts off Walter's escape and tells him it's over. Walter throws the talisman on the ground, shattering it. "There. Okay, now no one can have it!" he says. "I wouldn't have done that if I were you," Sam says. "Oh yeah? And why not?" says Walter. "Because you just freed them," Sam explains. "We can't stop them now." Dean and Marty come in. "Walter you brought them back. Forced them to murder. They're not going to be happy with you," Sam finishes. "Oh yeah?" Walter says, still backing up. "So why not?" Suddenly he is dragged to the ground and begins to yell. Blood appears on his back. Marty holds up the camera and they can see the ghosts tearing him apart.
On set, later
"Oh God," says the actress, "Oh God." She is holding a camera out in front of her, as one of the other actors stand behind her with a gun. "There!" she says, and he shoots. "How come the spirts appear on a camera phone?" she asks. "The video must pick up their frequencies in a way that our eyes can't," he replies. "Right there!" she says, and he takes another shot. "Cut!" the director calls. "Oh, print that one. I loved it. That's in the movie." Sam is watching in disbelief. "You found out there's an after life and this is what you do with it?" he says. "I need a little jazz on the page," Marty explains.
Outside Tara's trailer
Sam goes to Tara's trailer and Dean comes out, pulling on his jacket. Tara comes to the door, wearing her bathrobe and smiles. "You're one hell of a PA." "Thank you," Dean replies. Sam looks awkward. They leave together, Sam looking confused. Dean grabs a burrito off a plate on the way by, and the two boys walk off into a sunset, which is actually a prop. "God, I love this town," says Dean. |
