|EPISODE 422: LUCIFER RISING
|Dean: I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.
Bobby: You stupid stupid son of a b*tch! Well boo hoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt... princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.
|Zachariah: Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were eleven, I think.
Dean: I'm not hungry.
Zachariah: No? How about Ginger from Season 2 of Gilligan's Island? You've do have a thing for her, don't you?
Dean: Tempting. Weird.
Zachariah: We'll throw in Mary Ann for free.
Dean: No, no.
|Dean: I need you to take me to see Sam.
Dean: There's something I have to talk to him about.
Castiel: What's that?
Dean: The BM I took this morning. What's it to you? Make it snappy.
|Azazel: I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.|
|Dean: What's this supposed to be, the suite life of Zach and Cas?|
|Dean: You don't want to stop it, do you?
Zachariah: Nope. Never did. The End is nigh, the Apocalypse is coming, kiddo. To a theater near you.
Dean: What was all that crap about savin' seals?
Zachariah: Grunts on the ground, we couldn't just tell 'em the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it, would we really let sixty-five seals get broken, unless Senior Management wanted it that way?
Dean: (shocked) But why?
Zachariah: Why not? "The Apocalypse." Poor name, bad marketing, puts people off. When all it is, is Ali Foreman, on a slightly larger scale, and we like our chances. When our side wins - and we will - it's Paradise on Earth! What's not to like about that?
Dean: (horrified) And what happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?
Zachariah: Well, can't make an omelet without crackin' a few eggs. In this case, truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look. It happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered.
|Zachariah: You're still vital, Dean, we weren't lying about your destiny. Just... omitted a few pertinent details. But nothing's changed, you are chosen. You will stop it. Just... not Lilith or the Apocalypse, that's all.
Dean: Which means?
Zachariah: Lucifer. You're going to stop Lucifer. You're our own little Russell Crowe, complete with surly attitude. And when it's over, and when you've won, your rewards will be... unimaginable. Peace, happiness, two virgins and seventy sluts...
|Dean: Tell me something. Where's God in all this?
Zachariah: God? God has left the building.
|Castiel: You can't reach him, Dean. You're outside your cover so...
Dean: What are you gonna do to Sam?
Castiel: Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself.
Dean: What's that supposed to mean? All right. You're gonna tow the company line.Why are you here, Cas?
Castiel: We've been through much you and I, I just wanted to say I'm sorry it ended like this.
Dean: Sorry? (Dean hits Castiel) It's Armageddon, Cas! You need a bigger word than sorry!
Castiel: You try to understand - this is long foretold. This is your...
Dean: Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a b*tch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families - that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?
Castiel: What is worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion... In Paradise all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam.
Dean: You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford b*tch in Paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There's a right and there's a wrong here and you know it. Look at me! You know it. You were gonna help me once, weren't you? You were gonna warn me about all this before they drug you back to Bible camp. Help me now. PLEASE!
Castiel: What would you have me do?
Dean: Get me to Sam! We can stop this before it's too late.
Castiel: I do that we'll all be hunted. We'll all be killed.
Dean: If there's anything worth dying for... this is it. .. (Castiel shakes his head) You spineless, soulless son of a b*tch! What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done.
Dean: We're done!
|Sam: I've been waiting for this for a very long time.
Lilith: Then give me your best shot.
Lilith: (laughing) You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable.
|Ruby: I can't believe it. You did it.
Sam: What? What did I do?
Ruby: You opened the door, and how he's free at last!
Sam: I killed her!
Ruby: And it is written, that the first demon will be the last seal. And you busted her open, now guess who's coming to dinner.
Sam: Oh my god.
Ruby: Guess again!
Sam: I'm sorry.
Sam: Dean, he's coming.
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