|Dean and Sam are driving into Pennsylvania to investigate a vampire murder but Sam is somewhat distracted by the upcoming end of the world. The brothers find themselves at Oktoberfest. After buying pretzels and admiring the local women, the brothers spot Sheriff Dietrich and approach him claiming to be FBI agents. He takes them to the morgue and shows the murder victim. He then directs them to the witness, Ed Brewer, but warns that Ed isn't reliable. They go to find Ed and talk to the waitress, Jamie, who directs them to Ed. They ask him for details and he explains that he was walking through the park when he spotted a man kissing the victim. Ed's description is a perfect match for the movie version of Dracula, complete with Transylvanian accent.
Jamie talks with another waitress, Lucy, who daubs her lipstick on a napkin and moves off. Dean and Sam go back to the bar and Sam notices the napkin. Dean figures that the "vampire" is an imposter and wants to just hang out at Oktoberfest. He asks Jamie for a date and then informs Sam that he's come back from Hell completely restored, and wants to get rid of his restored virginity. Sam goes back to the hotel and Dean tells Jamie that the case isn't weird enough for them to stick around.
A couple are making out on lover's lane while a wolf howls in the distance. A wolf-like man approaches the car then rips the man out of the car as the girl, Anne-Marie, screams.
The next day Sam and Dean talk to Anne-Marie and confirm that she saw a classic movie werewolf kill her boyfriend Rick Deacon. They go to the morgue and examine Rick's body, concluding that the murderer was supernatural. However, the killer didn't remove the heart, indicating it's not a werewolf like the ones they fought. Dietrich reveals that they've found wolf hairs on the body. They head back to the bar and discuss the fact that werewolves don't have actual wolf hair. Jamie comes over and agrees to a date with Dean that night.
At the Canonsberg Museum, a guard discovers that an Egyptian sarcophagus just appeared on the dock. As he calls for confirmation, a mummy emerges from the sarcophagus. The guard's gun proves useless and the mummy strangles him. The brothers go to the museum after the police secure the scene and discover the sarcophagus is from a prop house and the "mummy" used dry ice for its smoke. Dean leaves Sam to check it out and goes to meet Jamie. She takes off when he isn't there and walks down the street… only to find Dracula behind her. He corners her in a dead-end alley and refers to her as the reincarnation of his beloved. She sprays him with pepper spray and runs past him and into Dean. Dean, unimpressed, punches Dracula but the vampire quickly overwhelms him. The vampire calls Dean "Harker" but Dean yanks on his ears and rips one off, then yanks off his medallion. Dracula runs away and Dean goes after him. The vampire climbs over a locked gate and drives away on a scooter.
Back at the bar, Dean shows Sam the ears: it's the skin of a shapeshifter. Dean also shows him the medallion, which belongs to the same prop house as the fake sarcophagus. Sam figures that the shapeshifter is reenacting horror movies and Sam recognizes the names Mina and Harker as characters from the novel Dracula. It must be fixated on Jamie, meaning he's been around her. Jamie doesn't recognize anybody who might be acting strange, but does note that Ed moved in a month ago and her friend Lucy claims he has a crush on her. He works as a projectionist at the old movie theater in town. Sam goes to investigate while Dean explains to Jamie about the real monsters that roam the world. She figure out he's not really FBI and figures that his life must suck given all the responsibility involved. Dean admits it used to weigh on him… until he had a near-death experience. Now he admits that things are different and he saves people, and it's his mission from God. She checks to see if he's celibate and he admits it doesn't. They kiss but are interrupted when Lucy comes in. She came to get a bottle and wishes them well, but Jamie invites her to stay for a drink.
Sam approaches the theater and finds Ed playing the pipe organ. Sam pulls his gun on him and yanks on Ed's ear, only to discover that it's real.
At the bar, Lucy dabs her lipstick on a napkin and talks to Deana and Jamie, who start to pass out. Dean punches Lucy, distorting her face and revealing "she" is the shapeshifter. Jamie collapses and Dean breaks a bottle and tries to hold Lucy off but collapses. He wakes up, clad in lederhosen, in a basement laboratory that Lucy has set up. The shapeshifter is in his Dracula form and reveals that "Lucy" was an actress from a horror movie. The shapeshifter believes he's Dracula and all the other characters, preferring them to real life. Dean points out what happens at the end of monster movies, but Dracula is confident he'll write the ending. He prepares to electrocute Dean, thinking he's Jonathan Harker, but the doorbell rings. The shapeshifter goes to answer the door and finds a puzzled pizza delivery boy. As he pays for the pizza, Sam returns to the bar and finds the napkin, and realizes Lucy is the shapeshifter.
Jamie wakes up to find Dracula waiting for her. Still thinking she's Mina, he asks her to put on the gown he's provided and offers her pizza. The shapeshifter finally snaps and orders her to put it on. Meanwhile, Sam arrives at Lucy's house and slips in. The shapeshifter apologizes for scaring Jamie, who tries to convince him he can't make them real. He notes that he has spent his life being called a monster and his father tried to beat him to death. He finally found the great monsters of the movies and has taken on their strength by assuming their forum. The shapeshifter hears something and Jamie calls out for Dean. He knocks her out while Sam finds Dean and frees him, and they break through a fake door to make their escape. They find Jamie but the shapeshifter throws Sam through a wall and beats back Dean. Dean knees him in the groin and tries to go for the gun loaded with silver bullets. The shapeshifter throws him back… but Jamie grabs the gun and shoots him. As he dies, the shapeshifter admits that perhaps that is how the movies should end.
The next day, Dean and Jamie kiss as the brothers prepare to leave town. She thanks them for saving her life and Sam admits it's good to be back on the job of simple monster-hunting. He says he wishes life would be more like a movie, and Sam figure the movie Dean would like life to be like is Porky's 2 Dean dismisses it as a lucky guess.