| Sam: (yelling) Your dirty socks in the sink! Your food in the fridge! Dean: What's wrong with my food? Sam: It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism! Dean: I like it.. |
| Trickster: Mr. Morality here, he brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat. |
| Curtis: They did tests on me then uh... (drinks shot) They probed me. Dean: They probed you? Curtis: Yeah, they probed me... again and again and again and... (drinks shot again) ...and again and again and again and then one more time. Dean: Yikes. Curtis: That's not even the worst of it. Dean: How can it get and worse, I mean, some alien made you his *****? (long pause) Curtis: They... they made me slow dance... |
| Dean: You wanna try one of those Purple Nurples! |
| Sam: Look, Dean, um, I just wanna say, that I'm, um... Dean: Hey... me too. Bobby: You guys are breaking my heart. Can we please just leave?! |
| Sam: How would you feel if I screwed with the Impala? Dean: It's be the last thing you ever did. |
| Sam: Dude... were you on my computer? Dean: Uh... no... Sam: Oh really? Cuz it's frozen now, on bustyasianbeauties.com? |
| Sam: You know something? I've put up with a lot from you! Dean: What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around! |
| Dean: These punishments, they’re almost poetic. Well, actually they’d be more like a limerick, but still… |
| Dean: Look man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style, you know. I mean, I do. I mean… phew! And the slow dancing alien... Trickster: One of my personal favorites. |
| Sam: Dean. This is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah! |
| Sam: Dude you mind not eating those on my bed? Dean: No, I don't mind. |
| Sam: There was this guy. He was a research scientist. Animal testing. Dean: Ya, you know, a dick. Which fits the pattern. |
| Jen: So now she haunts the building, and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale. Curtis: Well, if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told? |
| Bobby: If you two had bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear. Dean: What? Bobby: What you’re dealing with. Dean: I got nothing. Sam: Me neither. Bobby: You got a trickster on your hands. Dean: That’s what I thought! Sam: No, you didn't!! |
| Janitor: Sorry I’m dragging a little ass today, boys. Had quite the night last night. Lots of sex, if you catch my drift. Dean: Yeah, hard not to. |
| (Dean continues on telling his version of the story) Sam: So you and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house? Frat Guy: Yeah. Dean: You heard of what happened to him right? Frat Guy: Yeah, he said it was aliens... but you know, whatever. Sam: Look man, I know this all has to be so hard... Frat Guy: Not so much. Sam: But I want you to know... I'm here for you. (pause) You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. (hugs him) Too precious for this world. (cuts back to actual time) Sam: I never said that! Dean: You're always saying pansy stuff like that. |
| Starla: My God, you are attractive! Dean: Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please? Lives are at stake. Starla: Sorry, I can't even concentrate. It's like staring into the sun. |
| Bobby: You're bickering like an old married couple. Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins. Sam: It's conjoined twins. Dean: See what I mean? |
| Sam: Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby, maybe he's run into something like this before. Dean: Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator in the sewer gig. Yeah, simple. |
| Sam: I'm telling you, Dean, this is made by some kind of jet engine. Dean: Oh... what do you mean? Like some saucer-shaped jet engine? Sam: Well, what else can it be? Dean: What the hell?! Sam: I don't know. Dean: Well seriously dude, what the hell?! Sam: (yells) I don't know!! I mean first The Haunting, now this? The timing alone. There's gotta be some sort of connection here. Dean: What? You mean between the angry spirit and uh... the sexed up ET? What could the connection possibly be? |
| Dean: Woah, woah, woah, woah... hold on a minute!! Sam: What? Dean: C'mon dude, that's not how it happened! Sam: No? So you never drank a purple nurple? Dean: Yeah maybe that, but I don't say things like "fiesty little wildcat" and her name wasn't Starla. Sam: Then what was it? Dean: (pauses) I don't know... but she was a classy chick. She was a grad student. Anthropology and folklore. We were talking about ghost stories |
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