Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester Quotes

Good God Y'all Quotes - Supernatural Wiki
EPISODE 402: ARE YOU THERE, GOD? IT'S ME, DEAN WINCHESTER

episode guide - Supernatural Wiki
Dean: Don't you think that if angels were real that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one, at some point... ever?!
Sam: Yeah, you just did, Dean.
Dean: All I know is I was not groped by an angel.
Sam: A demon who's immune to salt rounds? And Devil's Traps? And Ruby's knife? Dean, Lilith is scared of that thing.
Dean: Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one. At some point! Ever.
Sam: Yeah. You just did, Dean.
Dean: I'm trying to come up with a theory here, okay? Work with me.
Sam: Dean, we have a theory.
Dean: Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please!
Bobby: It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit.
Dean: What else?
Bobby: What else what?
Dean: What else could do it?
Bobby: Airlift your ass out of the hotbox? As far as I can tell, nothin'.
Dean: I mean, I don't like gettin' singled out at birthday parties, much less by God.
Sam: Okay, well, too bad, Dean. Because I think He wants you to strap on your party hat.
Meg (ghost): You don't recognize me? This is what I looked like before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut.
Bobby: Solid iron. Completely coated in salt. One hundred percent ghost-proof.
Sam: You built a panic room?
Bobby: (defensively) I had a weekend off.
Dean: Bobby...
Bobby: What?
Dean: You're awesome!
Dean: See, this is why I can't get behind God.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Dean: If He doesn't exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. And no rhyme or reason, just random, horrible evil. I get it. Okay? I can roll with that. But if He is out there, what's wrong with Him? Where the hell is He while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does He live with Himself? You know, why doesn't He help?
(long pause)
Bobby: I ain't touching this one with a ten-foot pole.
Bobby: The rise of the witnesses is a mile marker.
Sam: Ok, so what do we do now?
Dean: Pfft. Road trip. Grand canyon, Star Trek experience, bunny ranch.
Bobby: I think I got everything we need here at the house.
Dean: Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?
Bobby: So you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden?
Dean: Ronald. Hey, come on, man. I thought we were pals.
Ronald: That's when I was breathing. Now I'm gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Well... come on, I'm not a cheeseburger.
Dean: If there's a god, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?
Castiel: The Lord --
Dean: If you say works in mysterious ways so help me I will kick your ass!
Dean: So Bobby was right about the Witnesses. This is some kind of a sign of the Apocalypse.
Castiel: That's why we're here. Big things afoot.
Dean: Do I wanna know what kind of things?
Castiel: I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know.
Castiel: The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.
Dean: Okay, I'm guessing that's not a show on Sea World.
Dean: Lucifer? Lucifer's just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing.
Castiel: Three days ago you though there was no such thing as me.
Meg(ghost): Dean Winchester, still so bossy!

(Bobby has convinced Dean to research about angels and there are several books stacked on his desk. Dean jerks the first one off).
Dean: You're gonna get me some pie! (to Sam)
(Sam pulls up to a store on the phone).
Sam: Yes Dean...I'll get the chips. (pause) Dude? When have I ever forgotten the chips?
(later when Sam brings back the bag of goodies to Dean).
Dean: Dude?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Where's the pie?

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