Swap Meat Quotes

episode quotes - Supernatural Wiki
EPISODE 512: SWAP MEAT

episode guide - Supernatural Wiki
Gary (as Sam): Crystal, I would love to have the sex with you.
Dean: If you were of voting age you'd be dead because we would kill you.
Gary (as Sam): (after seeing the dominatrix) I am in way over my head.
Dean: (to waitress) You know what sweetheart, would you do me a favour and bring me a cheeseburger with extra bacon? Fry an egg on top of it, would you?
Waitress: Absolutely.
Gary (in Sam’s body): Alright – that sounds good. Ditto.
Dean: Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sam?
Gary (in Sam’s body): What do you mean?
Dean: Bacon cheeseburgers now?
Gary (in Sam’s body): I dunno, I eat ‘em, don’t I? Anyways, we are celebrating (raises his shot glass. Dean looks confused, but he raises his too).
Dean: Another one bites the dust. Nice work tonight.
Gary (in Sam’s body): You too! I had a really awesome day man. Seriously (he drinks. Dean stares for a moment, then drinks too).
Dean: Really awesome day?
Gary (in Sam’s body): Yeah, why not?
Dean: It was a random, D-list ghost hunt. That’s awesome to you? (Gary shrugs).
Gary (in Sam’s body): I can’t be in a good mood?
Dean: Yeah, I guess... (after a moment) No, actually. That’s not really your style, Sam.
Gary (in Sam’s body): Well then, it’s a new me. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I got a gun – I’m getting drunk – and, I look like this. (Dean stares silently). Ah, I dunno. You ever feel like your whole future is being decided for you? (Dean blinks).
Dean: Uh, yeah Sam. I feel like that a lot.
Gary (in Sam’s body): No matter how much you fight it, you can’t stop the plan. The stupid, stupid plan. So I dunno. I guess it’s nice to just do a little ass-kickin’ for a change. That’s all (notices that Dean is still staring). Uh, you know what? I’m drunk. Sorry, sorry. Just forget it.
Dean: No, no. That’s alright. It’s uh... I’ll drink to that. (drinks). Is it just me, or are we actually drinking together?
Gary (in Sam’s body): We don’t do it that often, huh?
Dean: (laughs) You could say that.
Gary (in Sam’s body): Well we should. You’re a good guy, Dean.
Dean: You are drunk.
Gary (in Sam’s body): No, but I mean it. You really are a good guy. (Dean watches him, not saying anything).
Gary: So that's the bacon turbo, chili cheese fry, and...a shaker salad.
(Dean looks embarassed).
Dean: Yeah, I know...it's not for me.
(Dean takes the food back to where Sam is sitting. Sam puts in the dressing and starts shaking the salad as Dean glares at him).
Sam: What?
Dean: Oh you shake it up baby!
(Sam is tied up in the basement while Trevor negotiates what he wants).
Sam: Oh God, stop being stupid Trevor and run!
Gary as Sam: Hey. Can I drive?
(The two are in the car. Gary in Sam's body starts pressing the gas).
Dean: You want to get the lead out, Andretti. Let's go.
(Gary puts the car in reverse).
Dean: Reverse. Reverse! You....
(Gary puts his foot on the gas and the car backs into a garbage pile).
Dean: You got it in reverse!
(Gary walks to the passenger side while Dean goes over to the driver side).
Gary: I am soooo sorry.
Dean: Shut up!

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