|EPISODE 509: THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS
|Sam: Alright, well hey – Chuck, if you really wanna publish more books, I guess that’s okay with us.
Chuck: Wow really?
Sam: No not really. We have guns, and we’ll find you.
Chuck: Okay. Okay. No more books.
Sam: See you around.
|Sam & Dean: See what?
Becky: Oh my god, I love it when they talk at the same time!
|Dean: Great, we've got a real ghost, and bunch of dudes pretending to be us poking at it.|
|Dean: Hey, Chuck, good luck with your books, and screw you very much. (Sam and Dean walk away).
Convention Head: Fans of yours?
Chuck: I'd say no.
|Chuck: Thanks to a wealthy Scandinavian investor, we're gonna start publishing again.|
|Chuck: (to convention audience) What does the future hold for Sam and Dean? How about angels? Yea, no, 'cause they're not all as lame as you think they are.|
|Fake Dean: If all these people are really in trouble, we gotta do something.
Fake Dean: 'Cause that's what Sam and Dean would do.
|Hooters Girl playing Letitia: You seem different.
Dean: How so?
HGPL: Well, you don't seem scared of women.
|Hotel Manager: A lot of this place is off-limits to nerds.|
|Dean: (to fake Sam and Dean) Real enough for you?|
|Dean: (to Sam) Just give her the puppy dog thing, OK?|
|Damien / Fake Dean: He sells stereo equipment. I fix copiers. Our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean... to wake up every morning and save the world... to have a brother who would die for you... well, who wouldn't want that?|
|Dean: Crowley. Didn't occur to you to tell us before?
Chuck: I'm sorry, I didn't remember. I'm not as big of a fan as she is. (referring to Becky)
|LARPer: Yeah, how original. Supernatural bringing in more creepy children!|
|Chuck: Uh, okay, good. This isn’t nearly as awkward as I – uh, dry mouth [picks up a bottle of water and drinks]. Okay. So I guess uh... questions?
Fan 1: Hey, Mr. Edlund! Uh, big fan, wow... okay, I was just wondering. Where’d you come up with Sam and Dean in the first place?
Chuck: Oh uh... (Dean and Sam tilt their heads curiously). It just... came to me. Okay, the hook man.
Fan 2: Okay, so why in every fight scene, Sam and Dean are having their gun or knife knocked away by the bad guy? Why don’t they keep it on some kind of bungee?
Chuck: Uh, I really don’t know.
Fan 2: Yeah, follow up – why can’t Sam and Dean be telling that Ruby is evil? I mean she is clearly manipulating Sam in some kind of moral lapse. It’s obvious, right?
Becky: Hey! If you don’t like the books, don’t read ‘em, fritz!
Chuck: Okay, okay, just uh... It’s okay. It’s okay. Okay, next question.
Fan 3: Yeah okay, so at the end of the last book, Dean goes to hell, so, what happens next?
Chuck: Oh. There lies an announcement, actually. Um, you’re all gonna find out. Um, thanks to a wealthy Scandinavian investor, we’re gonna start publishing again! (Sam and Dean look at each other).
|Sam: (reads LARP leaflet) Dad’s Journal. Dear Sam and Dean, this hotel is haunted. You must haunt down the ghost. Interview witnesses, discover clues, and find the bones. First team to do so wins a fifty-dollar gift card to Sizzler. Love Dad. (Dean rolls his eyes).
Becky: You guys are so gonna win!
|Dean: How you doing?
Leticia Gore/actress: (doesn’t look up from her phone). Busy.
Dean: Well you sure look lovely tonight. Especially for a dead chick.
Leticia Gore/actress: Buddy, I have heard that line seventeen times tonight. Okay? And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets. (She finally looks at him, and then she smiles). But you seem different.
Dean: How so?
Leticia Gore/actress: Well you don’t seem scared of women.
|Dean: Alright, you know what? That’s it. (guys turn to look at him). That is it!
False Dean/ Damian: What’s wrong Bobby?
Dean: I’m not Bobby, ‘kay? You’re not Sam, you’re not Dean. What is wrong with you? Why in the hell would you choose to be these guys?
False Sam/ Barnes: Because we’re fans. Like you.
Dean: No, I am not a fan. Okay? Not fans! In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks! It is not fun, it’s not entertaining, it’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement! I mean, you think they enjoy being treated like circus freaks?
False Dean/ Damian: Uh, I don’t think they care. Because they’re fictional characters.
Dean: Oh they care. Believe me. They care a lot. (pushes past the two guys and keeps walking. They stare at Sam questioningly).
Sam: Uh, yeah. He takes the story very seriously.
|Becky: Look Sam. I’m not gonna lie. We had undeniable chemistry. But like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live. (Sam blinks). It can’t go on. Chuck and I... we found each other. My Yin to his proud Yang. And well, the heart wants what the heart wants. I am so, so sorry.
Chuck: Yeah Sam. You know, sorry. (Sam nods).
Becky: Will you be alright? (Sam sighs).
Sam: Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll just have to find a way to... keep living. I guess.
Becky: God bless you!
|Becky: Sam! Wait! One more thing! In chapter 33 of Supernatural, ‘Time Is On My Side’, there was that girl Bela, she was British, and a cat burglar?
Sam: Yeah, I – I know.
Becky: She stole the Colt from you, and then she ‘said’ she gave it to Lillith, remember?
Becky: Well you know she lied, right? She never really gave it to Lillith?
Sam: Wait what?
Becky: Didn’t you read the book? There was this one scene where Bela gives the Colt to a demon named Crowley, Lillith’s right hand man. I think her lover, too.
Sam: Crowley. It didn’t occur to you to tell us this before? (Sam asks Chuck).
Chuck: I’m sorry, I didn’t remember. I’m not as big of a fan as she is.
Sam: Becky? Tell me everything.
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